The Privileged iPhone Foundation

Last Christmas, more than 200 million children in the US and Western countries around the world did not get an iPhone from Santa. At The Privileged iPhone Foundation1, we think it’s time to put an end to this travesty. This year, the foundation will be raising money to ensure that no spoilt brat or annoying hipster goes without life’s essentials. For just $550, you can guarantee a first-world child clean drinking water a brand new iPhone 5s in the colour of their choice — because we realise that having an iPhone in the wrong colour is almost as bad as not having one at all.

In the longer term, the foundation is working for a future where no child is born into a family that can only provide a primitive standard of food, shelter and toys. Our most recent initiative – the No Child Left On Android initiative – is actually a mandatory sterilisation scheme. We aim to provide poor families with the tools they need in order to not have any more children — whether they like it or not. Society has no problem with taking children away from abusive parents; why should a home without love (and iPhones) be exempt?

Please just take a few moments to read what some of these children have written about their experience of living in poverty that you couldn’t even imagine.

Twitter complaints about not getting an iPhone for Christmas

Breaks your heart, doesn’t it?

1: It’s important to realise that the iPhones themselves are in no way privileged — the name of our foundation is a misnomer.

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